Dear Cubbie, Dodger, & Rex: Letting Mercy Lead

Nefoos_June 2015Dear boys,

You are growing faster every time I blink. I’ve loved every stage you all have (and still are) growing through: your first infant cries; first smiles and chuckles; first crawls; first foods; first teeth and first steps. Rex, your brothers managed not to pee, poop, or puke on me; but you decided to throw the whammy at me and give 2/3 on one night (we’ll talk about that one later when you’re old enough to have a stable income). I’ve loved chasing you all around while you all squeal and yell “More! More!”. I’ve loved teaching you our special game “TIMBER!”, seeing you throw yourselves down laughing on Grandma’s bed.

I was talking a long walk around Lac La Biche Lake last night, and Rich Mullins’ song “Let Mercy Lead” cued up on my iPod. Okay, okay, it’s a bit of an older song. But as he sang it to “Aidan”, I began singing to each of you.

Cubbie… you are a wonderful inventor and creator. Your imagination knows few bounds, and you are eager to to experience the world, making it into the fabulous world you already have within yourself. We can hardly keep up with your enthusiasm to read, to know, to question, to discover, to connect and to have us understand your perceptions and designs.

As I write this post, you are learning to print your letters. Take it from one creative to another, never stop learning your letters. Letters become a canvass, Cubbie. And the more you work them, the better they become. You can fashion them to heal, to help, to love and to teach. But know, too, that they can be used to hurt, destroy, and even kill. It is no small gift you are being given in simply printing words on a page. You have power in your words and imagination, dear one. I pray you will come to understand how your letters can speak Love into being.

Dodger… you are a keen engineer. Whatever Cubbie creates, you have the ability to put the practical under dreams. You want to know how everything works and why. Everything from the old blue tractor at Grandma and Grandpa’s to the Ferris Wheel at Fort Edmonton Park, you want to know how the world works, what are particular functions, and why. Sometimes I can’t keep up! In fact, most times I can’t because I know very little about mechanical things. And yet I see these things making your powerful little heart soar, and I love you for it.

Know this too: you are your father’s son. Like your dad, you love to have fun but when you need quiet space you tip-toe off and take it. You are a keen observer of the world, and this gift will serve you well. You are able to factor out the practical issues right in front of your eyes. My prayer for you is that you will learn to use both your quiet sensitivity and your practicality together. Sometimes we’ll need your sensitive heart and other times we’ll need the obvious answer we’ve all missed. And yes, your laughter will always remind me of bubbles. 🙂

Rex… you have a voice entirely your own! From birth, you have made sure we could hear from all ends of the earth! Your energy is matched only by your smiles and laughter. Whatever Cubbie creates and Dodger engineers, you’ll be the first one to try it out (no matter how dangerous!). And with your charm and delight, you’ll have all of us trying out any crazy scheme as well. I’d better make sure my safety gear is up-to-date. Ha!

As I write this, you’re about a year and a half. And your wonder is a wonder in itself. You point at everyday things like you’re seeing them for the first time, cooing: “Ooooo! Ooooo”, like a curious baby owl. Never lose that sense of wonder or curiosity, Rex. You’ll not only discover the world, but you’ll discover the wounds and needs of other people around you. Sometimes this gift will feel like a curse; and indeed it can be a burden. But with your heart resting soundly in God, you will find strength to pursue the stories living and breathing all around you.

My boys, as you grow in wisdom and stature, I know we’ll not always agree on every little thing about our beliefs. I’ll have a crazy set if Ipod playlists and that you’ll find old school (and that’s if you even have Ipods by the time you’re old enough to understand what they are). You’ll make decisions I won’t necessarily approve you; I’ll make decisions you won’t necessarily approve of. You’ll grow into fine young men and surprise us all with who you are and how you live your lives.

There is a remarkable foolishness in pursuing faith. In so many ways, we are all fools for nurturing such ridiculous ideas. But we’re hopeful fools, grounded in Christ. Even this grounding and heritage you all have inherited will be a choice to embrace or grow from later on. You will always be close to my heart, even if you choose to join that Spaghetti Church everyone’s talking about. I will always love mushrooms and… you WILL learn to love mushrooms, as all good and rightful hobbits do, even if you don’t believe me now. 😉

But know this above all: I will always love you.

As you listen, know that I’m singing this as a prayer over all three of you. Your lives are Light to me, and I am a better person because you fellows.

Love,
Auntie Erin

Let Mercy Lead – R.Mullins

(Cubbie) you’re young
But (Dodger) you’re growing fast
Me and your mom
And all the love we have
We can only take you so far
As far as we can
But you’ll need something more to guide your heart
As you grow into a man

Let mercy lead
Let love be the strength in your legs
And in every footprint that you leave
There’ll be a drop of grace
If we can reach
Beyond the wisdom of this age
Into the foolishness of God
That foolishness will save
Those who believe
Although their foolish hearts may break
They will find peace
And I’ll meet you in that place
Where mercy leads

(Rex) the day
(Boys) the day will come
You’ll run the race
That takes us way beyond
All our trials and all our failures
And all the good we dream of
But you can’t see yet where it is you’re heading
But one day you’ll see the face of love

Let mercy lead
Let love be the strength in your legs
And in every footprint that you leave
There’ll be a drop of grace
If we can reach
Beyond the wisdom of this age
Into the foolishness of God
That foolishness will save
Those who believe
Although their foolish hearts may break
They will find peace
Where mercy leads

Let mercy lead
Let love be the strength in your legs
And in every footprint that you leave
There’ll be a drop of grace
If we can reach
Beyond the wisdom of this age
Into the foolishness of God
That foolishness will save
Those who believe
Although their foolish hearts may break
They will find peace
And I’ll meet you in that place
Let mercy lead
Let mercy lead
Let mercy lead

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