Recently I published this apology on behalf of myself and my fellow pastors, church leaders, and staff members for the way we have unintentionally damaged single people within our communities as we have served them.
I wanted to follow that up with some nuts-and-bolts ways that we who affect the direction of those faith communities can begin to remedy some of the mistakes of our individual and collective pasts; ways we can really love single people in our midst well.
1) Stop treating Singleness as an illness or temporary setback.
Marriage is simply not a longing, calling, or inevitability for all people within our communities. Frequently our teaching, our programming, and our unspoken philosophy is that everyone under our care is consciously and passionately pursuing marriage. Far too often we implicitly make lifetime singleness seem like a spiritual consolation prize. This places a terrible pressure on those of a certain age to have already “paired-up” and…
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