“…deeds are done which appear so evil to us and people suffer such terrible evils that it does not seem as though any good will ever come of them; and we consider this, sorrowing and grieving over it so that we cannot find peace in the blessed contemplation of God as we should do; and this is why: our reasoning powers are so blind now, so humble and so simple, that we cannot know the high, marvelous wisdom, the might and the goodness of the Holy Trinity. And this is what he means where he says, 'You shall see for yourself that all manner of things shall be well', as if he said, 'Pay attention to this now, faithfully and confidently, and at the end of time you will truly see it in the fullness of joy.” -Julian of Norwich, Revelations of Divine Love
If I see one more picture of a displaced Syrian child I think I'll gouge my eyes out.
If I hear of one more sweat shop-factory burning to the ground with people stuck inside to die, I'll puncture my ear drums clean through with an ice awl.
If I hear one more person say: "Everything happens for a reason…", I'll scream high enough to shatter the windows. Maybe I won't stop either. Syrian children and sweat shop labour is some divine will of the universe?
If I'm told again that Your holiness — as determined by wrath, judgment & damnation — is the harder aspect of Your character to accept and believe than Your Love (You AS Love), I'll just crumple inward down to a puddle on the floor. Do people not understand how hard Love is? What a difficult road it is to walk? How impossible it is to separate Your character? Why in the world would I choose an easy path?
If I'm faced once more with my own failures, brokenness, mistakes, and regrets, I could easily give up altogether. ("Really, Erin? You haven't learned THAT by now?") Karma reallly is a… well You know. She has no grace whatsoever.
Yeah okay… that's my own voice chiding me, not Yours. Sometimes You get awfully quiet about what's going on around here.
Is that what it takes, God? Quiet?
Perhaps. Quiet, after all, doesn't mean abandonment or silence.
We are paralyzed with the images of displaced children and the sounds of slavery; we clash over doctrine and believe platitudes that have only grains of truth to them.
And You're quiet.
Teach me to be quiet too.
In the face of evil, discord, struggle and frustration, teach me to be quiet… still… present… in love with You & those You have created.
No eye-gouging or ear-puncturing. Just quiet.