We’re Still Shaming Girls

Word became flesh
John 1:1.

God moved into the neighborhood. 

Darn glad S/He did.

Not always because of our busted up & broken selves, but sometimes because we get a little uppity in our shaming of other people. I've done it. Youv'e done it. We've all done it… and in the name of virtue.

We needed God moving into the neighborhood, no?

Yes.

Kim Hall in her post FYI (if you're a teenage girl) talks about how Kim, as a mom to boys, warns girls about posting sexually explicit selfies online. They are stumbling blocks to boys and if these girls dare creep into her home, there are no second chances.

The ringer was: her first post showed all of her boys topless in bathing suits. She's since changed her pics, but that was due to public pressure. I'm not so sure if it was because of a change of heart, seeing the double standards we set for our kids.

Sigh…

… we're still stuck here in this place where females are shamed because guys are somehow more turned on visually, and guys must be blindfolded when women are just not dressed right.

I was going to post about the beautiful benefits of Edmonton's Boyle Street food bank creating a "pet food bank" for homeless/low income pet owners. Don't worry, that post is still in the lineup. And it's inspiring!

Anyway…

Since when are girls less visually stimulated than guys? Have you looked at a girls locker door?… her bedroom wall?… her binders?… her FB page?

Girls are turned on as much as guys by sight, but in church settings especially this has been declared unacceptable. So we've been told "we're not that way", so we believed we weren't that way, yet when a handsome fella or eye-catching female marched down the hallway, why did we suddenly feel so hot and weird?

Since when was "virtue" and "purity" characteristics only pertaining to sex?

Since when was sex the only thing encasing sexuality?

I've made it no secret that I hate selfies. Girls have better ways of expressing themselves than showing off boobs, body and butterfly lashes. But you know what?

Guys do it too.

And it's just as dismal.

Furthermore, Hall is buying into the "boys will be boys" myth of our culture: guys need sex more than women, so it's more of a stumbling block for them.

SINCE WHEN?!!?

Maybe I'm not a mom to boys.

Maybe I'm not a mom at all.

But I have lived and worked with youth and children in an official capacity since I was 16 years old. Sometimes, a fresh set of eyes that aren't as parental can be beneficial.

I learned some things:

1) girls are just as sexual as boys, including visually 

2) that's not always a bad thing, but we need to set positive examples surrounding it

3) girls are more likely to become victims of sexual violence because it's still by and large okay for boys to take advances (and still okay to blame the girls for dress, state-of-mind, etc)

4) boys are victims of sexual violence too, and more support needs to be created here

5) boys sometimes feel eclipsed in other areas of their lives (hobbies, artisanship, sports, relationships, faith), because as much as sex drive is a part of who they are growing into, these other areas are significant parts of who they are as well… but we don't notice them because we still believe they're just rutting stags.

God… stay in the neighborhood.

We need new conversations about this — ones that are more accurate in Your image, more accurate in who we are, and more honest with our youth.

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