Fair is Equal is Fair is Right… Right? (Warning: Explicit Content)

I've been thinking for a long time about writing a post like this. I didn't want it to be garish or sound like a cheap ratings grab; yet I really wanted folks to perhaps have a different perspective on the legalization of prostitution debate. 

If equality and consent are two of the main arguments for the legalization of prostitution, let's take the matter to some new arenas. These job descriptions/applications for sexual services are based off of the demands placed on sex trade workers, real life experiences of sex trade workers past/present, and expectations of those who demand sex. 

After all…

… fair is fair, right?

If safe environments for sex trade workers are purportedly being created, perhaps some mandatory health & safety checks should be put into place for all those demanding sexual services.

Customers, please provide:
– your full name, address, telephone number (this will go on public record)
– your provincial healthcare card
– a current vaccination record
– a current criminal records check (if it is found that you are/have been found guilty of a violent offense, you will be denied access to our workers)
– a current Child Welfare Check (if it is found that you are/have been found guilty of an offense against a child, you will be denied services)
– current medical physical (if it is found that you have or have had any STI or other potentially communicable disease, you will be denied services)
– a current photo which we will take, but at your own expense 
– a list of all past/present sexual partners 

We Will:
– keep a record of all sex trade workers you interact with

– keep a record of the types of sexual services you demand (for better to serve in the future)

– hand over any and all personal information on your file should any criminal or occupational health and safety investigations occur

– leave messages at your private residence, work or cell to confirm your times/dates with our workers (make sure your spouse isn't in the room… these calls tend to create friction in a marriage) 

– demand all records be kept current and up-to-date. You will need annual physicals, crim checks, child welfare checks, vaccination records and blood tests

– maintain the right to use your personal information/photo on our media sites, publications and PR functions to show the world how successful our services are to the general public

If you fail to provide any of this information, you will not have access to our services at any time.

No, johns shouldn't have to produce this information, you say?



If brothels, strip clubs, massage parlours, and other places of indoor prostitution are recruiting girls and women, fair is fair, right? Parents, teachers, guidance counsellors, sex trade employers, we ought to be free enough with our sexuality to teach our boys that sex trade work is a free choice for them too.  

What? No, you say?

Sorry… fair is equal is fair is right. What goes for boys, goes for girls and vice versa. If girls are going to be freed up sexually to choose this profession, then boys should have the same opportunities. After all, women have just as much of a complex libido as men do, they have needs, access pornography/prostitution, and should have the same level of service as men do. Anything else is discrimination.

For Males
Please Provide the Following:
– full name, address, phone number, email and all social media connections you might have

– you will turn in your personal cell phone and use only the cell phone given to you by the service agency

– you will submit yourself to a full medical exam. The results are only for show. If your body does not meet our criteria, we will pay for any medication or treatments you might require to perform at your very best.
However, our payment up front will be added to your debt that you will incur during your time with us

– you will submit yourself to your brothel manager whenever s/he desires sexual favours. This is non-negotiable

– you will strip down for inspections. Your penis size will be measured and should you fall short of our standards, you will be sent for corrective surgery to rectify any deficiencies. Your teeth will be judged, and likewise corrected. Your lips will be judged and likewise corrected. Your buttocks will be judged and likewise corrected. Your thighs will be judged and likewise corrected. Your eyes will be judged and likewise corrected. Any body part that does not measure up to the highest standard of male sexuality will be likewise corrected. The costs of these surgeries will also be added to your tab. Any blemish or flaw on the skin will be remedied, again at our expense up front, but at your expense until you can pay off our service to you. As our employee, your body is our commodity and our treatment of it is non-negotiable

– you will perform any sex act demanded of the customer. Your choice about which acts to perform no longer matters. The customer is always right, and if you want to remain in our employ, you will do what you are told

– your picture, including pornographic poses, will be posted on the internet in various places. This too is non-negotiable

– in cases of rape or other sexual violence, you will learn to remain silent. We are here to provide services and turn a profit. Your personal well-being is not our concern
– you will be shown off to a variety of groups, dressed and undressed, for their gratification and entertainment. As our employee, you will perform. If you do not know how to perform (on a pole or otherwise), you will learn

– we, as your employers, retain the right to address any employee issues with whatever measure we deem fit.  

So let's say for the sake of argument that I actually believe full legalization is a healthy way to go for Canada… 

People who demand sex still demand anonymity. Even in "safe" places, johns still have the power to use and abuse.

People who shout for the right to choose sex trade work rarely shout that boys should be recruited as equally as girls. Yet society still sees women as the primary sources of sexual services. When I speak of this to youth groups or classrooms, teenage boys become offended that I would even dare suggest that they consider this "line of work". Prostitution is for GIRLS!! Not… boys.

Legalization will not build safety or equality… for men or women. It's a farce — a grand farce to give more power to sex-on-demand, fuelling more violence, and degrading those caught in the lifestyle. But the word "consent" has been so abused and twisted, that one little 'yes' (even under pain of violence) is conflated to look like equal consent from both sides.

Even in legalization, fair is not fair.


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