The Music in Me – Paula Cole


Music_in_me_by_Blackberry

I think we can all relate to Paula Cole's song on many levels. We all have inner critics, we all have voices from our pasts barking at us or smiling just a little too sweetly that it sets our teeth on edge. For trafficking victims, the voices are espescially loud and numerous. From parents or caregivers to would-be boyfriends/girlfriends, to pimps, to johns, to cops, to lawyers, to social workers, to church folk, to cultural norms, to global demands.

Lots of voices.

Lots to filter. And when our freedom is all but stamped out of us, our filters (faulty at the best of times) tend to short circuit, letting in a barrage of voices claiming our lives to the end. Freedom is a hard-won journey as much as it is a dream and a destination.

The lines that stood out for me were:

Like an oracle the music’s here in me.
And I thank you God for music here in me.

This is literal as much as it is symbolic. Music penetrates our conscious awareness to affect us on levels we don't even comprehend yet. It's a gift from God because it is of God. God is a musical God who passed this characteristic onto us. I like to Jesus sang in the shower… however showers looked back then; that he and the disciples would burst into spontaneous song walking those dusty roads; that he even had a special song picked out just for Mary in the garden — just the two of them. I'd like to think that his prayers to the Father/Mother were partially offered up in song. 

I like to think that Jesus was a belt-it-out-from-yer-gut kind of singer, enjoying the sound and breath together emerging from his mouth to God's ears. I like to think God's rejoicing over us with singing is a literal thing… passed onto us, the children of The Singer (Calvin Miller, anyone?)

So past the voices… past the critics… past the faulty filters… we look to those Songs from the Undergound to rise up within us, breaking out of our mouths, and flooding the world with sound.

"Music In Me"

The echo of shame, the voice inside my head,

The need for love, the insecurity.

Cutting me down, to the fourteen year old girl,
The Father Figure criticizing me.

Go on – through the darkest night,
Cause I know inside the answer’s here in me.

There’s blood on my soul, for speaking out my pain,
Perpetuating hurt in family.
My mother in me – I cannot explain,
My need for love from her will never wane.

Go on – through the darkest night,
Cause I know inside the answer’s here in me.
Go on – the shadowboxing fight
Disappears when all the music’s here in me.
Like an oracle the music’s here in me.
And I thank you God for music here in me.

Go on – through the darkest night,
Cause I know inside the answer’s here in me
Go on – the shadowboxing fight
And I’ll heal with understanding,
And I’ll deal with patient loving,
And I’ll make it cause the music’s here in me.

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