“We Should Have Set Her Up & Posted It All Over Facebook!

So I'm sitting here at Gate D5 at the Philadelphia International Airport. Just a few seats down are 3 20/30-something males having a ridiculously crude conversation. I'm hashing and re-hashing "kingdom words" that would see me speaking life to them (even if it would come out harsh… got to say, I'm pissed; but I know I can't be a fellow lowlife. Doesn't jive). For the record, I have no qualms about "eavesdropping" since these boys are being so loud, people at the next gate can hear their guffaws. 

It sounds like these Canadians (from GTA somewhere) came down to Philly for stag party. Red flags for me right there. They went out last night to hook up and 2/3 were successful in doing so. One guy was singularly unimpressed with his date and all 3 have been making fun of said woman with statements like: "We should have got her MORE drunk done her, propped her up in the hotel room with the other one, taken lots of pictures, posted them on Facebook, and left them for housekeeping to find! HAHAHAHA!!!" And they started talking about their wives back home…?? 

Real funny.

Comments about the fun of taking advantage of drunken women are loud and clear. Apparently, it's a free ride (literally). The who was unsuccessful in his quest to hook up has been repeatedly told he should have come over to "borrow" one of the others'. 

Is this trafficking?

Could be. The conversation hasn't talked about the nature of their hook ups. Obviously they are talking one-night stands, but that could be chatting up girls at the bar or club, hiring sex trade workers, or having a private party at a hotel with strippers. The list could go on. 

At this point, it doesn't really matter. The guys have proven themselves to be brutes, louts, and all around assholes. Yes… I swore. If you're more worried about the language I've used to make a serious point, then you've missed the point. These guys are not only treating women like sex nothings, but are fantasizing about abusing them online through FB, Youtube, etc. Faux rape? Really? How original… like it's ever really "faux". 

Then one guy started talking about being hungry, so the small band disperesed in search of food. Missed opportunity.

Guys… setting a girl up after a sexual encounter to plaster her all over the net is loathsome. But you see, we say that, and yet it still happens. We say that no matter how drunk a guy or girl is, IT IS NOT A COME ON. It is not an invitation to have as much sex as you can take while the other person isn't aware of what's happening. That's rape. Nothing less. You feel like a stud, but trust me, you've slashed wounds deeper than what you'll ever see. My guess is not many of you grow up thinking: "I want to be a rapist! Woohoo!".

Girls… I hate to say it, but we still live in a culture where we're told how to stay safe, how NOT to get raped. Progress is slow. Telling guys not to rape is sort of on the radar now, but the message needs to be shouted louder.

Guys… if you find it hilarious to post sexual abuse online, you're not posting "funny". You're posting crime (in a legal sense), sin (in a moral sense), and brokenness (in all senses). This isn't funny and you can't get your rocks off without lauging at something like this, listen: alarm bells should be sounding in your heads and your genitals. This is not funny stuff. This is rotten stuff. There's crap you need to deal with. You are hurting women. Period.

Girls…  who's loving you in your life right now? Who's around you that is supporting you? Your family? Your friends? Your congregations? Your work? Your school? Your club? If there's no one, I deeply urge you to reach out somewhere. I know we've been burnt by people we've dared to trust. But I beg you to trust once again. You see, these exploits these guys are bragging/mocking about are not acts of love. They are acts of abuse they can get away with because "boys will be boys".


Not true.

To the guys at D5: I hope you go out one night, try and pick a woman, and she turns to you full in the face and says: "I'm worth more than you'll ever be to me. Your attitude is sickening." After that… I pray you listen to that prickle in your conscience and not your warped genitalia. You are causing lifelong wounds.

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